December 23

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Let’s Talk About Self-Compassion and Forgiving Yourself After a Big Mistake

It’s not easy to forgive yourself when you feel like you’ve messed up. But, it is necessary to move forward and do better next time! In this article, we’re going to talk about self-compassion and forgiving yourself for your mistakes so that you can move on with your life guilt-free.

Why you need to forgive yourself

When you make a mistake, it’s easy to feel like you’re not good enough. You may start to doubt yourself and your abilities. This can lead to feelings of guilt, self-hatred, and low self-esteem. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes! Nobody is perfect.

It’s also important to forgive yourself to move forward with your life. Holding onto guilt and self-hatred can keep you stuck in the past rather than moving into a brighter future. And it can shatter your sense of self-esteem and worth. When we understand how to forgive ourselves for our mistakes, it allows us to move on from them so that we don’t repeat those same mistakes over again!

It begins with self-compassion.

What is self-compassion?

Self-compassion is showing yourself as much kindness and compassion in difficult times that you would usually show to other people. It allows us to be gentle with ourselves when things go wrong instead of being hard on ourselves for making a mistake.

“With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend... Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?”

– Dr. Kristin Neff, Self-compassion Pioneer

With practice, we can learn to be more compassionate with ourselves so that we are able to forgive our mistakes and move forward in life without feeling guilty or ashamed!

How to be more compassionate with yourself

There are a few ways to be more compassionate with yourself when you’re struggling.

  1. Try to understand why you’re feeling guilty or ashamed. What led to the mistake in the first place? Once you better understand what happened, it will be easier to forgive yourself.
  2. Give yourself time to feel your feelings. Forgive yourself for being human and experiencing negative emotions like guilt or shame! You’re allowed to be imperfect, so take the time you need to process what happened.
  3. Try some self-soothing techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or listening to soothing music instead of beating yourself up. If you have a pet at home, cuddle them! Pets are great for helping us soften our hearts and feel comfortable with imperfection because they don’t judge us when we mess up.
  4. Be kind to yourself. This may be the most critical step of all! When you’re kind and understanding towards yourself, it will be easier to forgive yourself for your mistakes. It also ensures that your self-esteem doesn’t crumble every time you mess up.

“Self-compassion is a practice of goodwill, not good feelings. In other words, even though the friendly, supportive stance of self-compassion is aimed at the alleviation of suffering, we can’t always control the way things are. If we use self-compassion practice to try to make our pain go away by suppressing it or fighting against it, things will likely just get worse. With self-compassion we mindfully accept that the moment is painful, and embrace ourselves with kindness and care in response, remembering that imperfection is part of the shared human experience. This allows us to hold ourselves in love and connection, giving ourselves the support and comfort needed to bear the pain, while providing the optimal conditions for growth and transformation.”

Dr. Kristin Neff, Self-compassion Pioneer

Self-compassion exercise for forgiving yourself

The following is a self-compassion exercise that you can do to help yourself feel more compassionate and forgiving towards yourself.

If you want more, Dr. Kristin Neff’s website provides plenty of self-compassion exercises and practices to fill you up for the next decade. She’s just incredible.

Tips for how to start practicing self-compassion in your life today

If you’re interested in starting to practice self-compassion in your life, here are a few tips to get you started!

  • Make time each day for yourself. This could be a few minutes of meditation, journaling, or deep breathing. Simply taking some time out for yourself can help you connect with your inner compassion and kindness.
  • Be gentle and patient with yourself. Remember that self-compassion is a practice, and it takes time to develop. Don’t expect to be perfect overnight – just keep practicing, and you will see results over time.
  • Connect with others who share your interest in self-compassion. There are many online communities and groups dedicated to self-compassion.

The most important thing is to just start somewhere, and don’t be discouraged if it feels difficult at first. With practice, self-compassion will become a part of your everyday life!

Jess & Kara


Our life’s calling is to help you increase your confidence. It is a culmination of our life experiences, study, and real-world trials and tribulations. We are dedicated to teaching you how to build your confidence and empower you by providing inspiration, support, resources, and proven techniques so that you can feel better about yourself and create a life that truly embodies your unique greatness.


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forgiveness, self-compassion


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